As a show of hands Fit Tradies, put your hands up if you often find yourself short of time? It’s hard to see who put their hand up given this is a blog however we’re assuming it’s at least 50% of you! Now put your hand up if you’ve listened/watched one of them ads saying, ‘do you wake up tired every morning?’ and think to yourself ‘Oh my god, I have this… I should go see a doctor immediately’? This question had literally nothing to do with what we were about to write however we just heard an ad for exactly that and thought we had diabetes.
Now I know everyone reading this is probably saying, ‘bit rich you two arseholes talking shop about time management…. until last week you hadn’t posted a blog in 3 months!’
To that we say you are correct (namely to the arseholes part), HOWEVER we’d also like to say Fit Tradies, we have made a commitment to you all to get one of these bad boys out weekly (if not fortnightly) moving forward. Full stop. Capital Letter. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200! Now we’ve cleared the air let’s get down on it like a beaver on a hunk of wood!
What is Time Management you ask? Fit Tradie defines the term ‘Time Management’ as the act of planning out your day in advance and completing all tasks on time so you have enough time at the end of the day for some online shopping to find that highly sort after Brut Cologne that your old man used to wear in his Datsun 180B whilst listening to George Thorogood’s ‘Bad to the Bone’.
If you ask any bloke/free wheeler at the ‘rubbery dub’ (pub) they will say that the key to success is time management. Lucky for you listeners out there (realised reading back through this that it should have said readers but we’ve gone too far), Fit Tradie has a number of hot tips to assist you with Effective Time Management we are willing to share:
- Turn off notifications whilst at work – now we all love to check our My Space account to see how many likes we got for the video of your mate on the shitter however this constant stop start can kill a huge amount of time and distract you from the task at hand. Remove notifications to messages, emails and the like and set aside a period of time in the day to check them and reply;
- Even if you’re not on the phone or listening to music, put a set of headphones in your ears – they don’t even need to be plugged in however this will give the visual illusion that you are actually on the ‘dog and bone’ (Phone) and as such the majority of people will leave you alone;
- Plan the week ahead – every Friday make a plan for the upcoming week and stick to it. Be sure to add in your weekly binge sesh on Netflix and don’t forget to also chill whilst watching Netflix. Sash only realised recently that ‘watch Netflix and Chill’ meant to have sexual intercourse whilst watching Netflix. He was getting a few odd looks around site when he kept saying ‘Yeah Chris and I are going to watch Netflix and Chill tonight’… Now he knows why;
- Stop sinking excessive amounts of froff – Sinking a small amount of low carb froff as per the ‘Australian Guidelines for Sinking Appropriate Quantities of Froff’ is ok… however it starts to inhibit your ability to effectively time manage once you over step those guidelines. Prior to becoming Fit Tradie’s we used to live by the rule 12 ‘pigs ears’ (beers) the first hour and 20 every hour after that and you should be sweet. However, in recent days we have discovered these quantities are excessive and hence the reason for our insufficient time management of past;
- Procrastination – The biggest killer of effective time management is procrastination. Example of procrastination below.
If you have a big task at hand don’t sit there and contemplate how big it is (what about the task hahaha), break it down into smaller pieces and come up with a plan to tack these one by one. Don;t go looking for hilarious memes such as this one… you’re welcome by the way;
- Emails are farked – That’s right Fit Tradies… scrap emails and start calling people. Yes we understand that some calls may need to be backed up with a quick email however keep it short and sharp! A recent study from the University of Technology (Nimbin) has revealed that on average people waste approximately 2.37 hours per day on unnecessary email sending/reading (Note: Both the university mentioned above and actual figures may or may not be made up however emails are proven to waste significant amounts of time during the day); and
- Reduce interruptions and distractions – Whilst a cheeky video of one of your mates hanging on a scaffold upside down in the ‘Rodney Rude’ (nude) is hilarious and will get a few views on the socials, it does take time away from your day. So try and reduce interruptions and distractions until the weekend.
One of the biggest benefits of Effective Time Management Fit Tradies is reduced stress. Time management is essentially stress prevention and in a highly stressful environment it allows you to work under less pressure and in fewer hours with greater results. To that Fit Tradies we say SEND IT!
Until then Tradies…Keep it tight and Bright!
– Sash and Chris –
Quote of the week: ‘Splash it all over’ Boxer Henry Cooper who was the star of the 1970’s Brut advertising campaign
Video of the week: Brut Cologne 1987 TV Commercial
Fit Tradie Challenge: Walk around with your earphones in your ears but not plugged in, video it, put it on Insta and tag your mates @FitTradie – OR – Buy yourself some Brut Cologne and ‘Splash it all over’, go into work and sit within 1m of your boss, don’t say anything and video his/her reaction, put it on Insta and tag your mates @FitTradie